That's when you crack a 10am beer
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
