lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
