I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
