so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
