For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
