Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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