): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
