i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
