Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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