it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Randomize
