I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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