Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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