there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
It's never too late to be topless.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
