It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
