i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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