what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I got inside last night via doggy door
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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