perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
