After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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