a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
