Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
