I can text with my tongue
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
