I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
