Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
handjob tips. give me some.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
