I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
