good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I love having hate sex.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
