i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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