He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
