just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
