I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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