you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
