Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
