Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
