Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
