I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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