while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
