please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
