With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
