How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
