We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
