I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
