called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
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