You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
