My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
