He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
