Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
