What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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