I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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