omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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