Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
