I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
