I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
