you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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