I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
